To The Land Where I Belong To…

Every time I plan my trip back to India, I feel the joy filling within many days before my trip. Feeling of going back to the roots I belong to and to the people I belong to is something very emotional. I start counting days and then hours to start my journey. When flight takes off, I start thinking about list of places I need to visit, list of people I need to visit, list of dishes I need taste; these lists are never ending…

My job and my own choice brought me to this unknown country. I was excited to live in a country which is completely different from where I belong to. London city grew inside me and I got used to it. I was amused by the city because of its facilities… its design and discipline… Amazing public transport network… Quality of everything it offers… Professionalism in every profession… Equality and respect towards every profession... There are many more things why you like this city.

As time passed, I started feeling - This city is lot more mechanical than the city I love back in India. Sometimes I feel system which is organized too much is very monotonous. I feel there is no life to the city. I started realizing what I miss from the land I belong to. I grew up in that country being part of it. I feel that land and people belong to me. I never felt same in this land of somebody else’s. Probably I am stubborn to change fundamentally to accustom to a new culture… Probably I am not open enough to accept something which is not part of my fundamentalism.

Moving from one place to other and settling down in an unknown land is very common for our generation. We are not emotionally attached to anything around. We can live in our own mental islands without knowing people around. We are no more interested in where the shopkeeper of vegetable shop live… how many kids he has and where they study. Is it necessary or important to know those information? Probably not! But, it basically shows that we are no more connected to the people around. For me, all silly conversations I have with tea shop guy to tender coconut seller gives different perspective about life. I enjoy those conversions. I have a very good comfort level with my own people while conversing anything I want.

The cultural difference between my homeland and this new country holds me back from casual conversations here. Culture of my homeland is in my blood. I don’t have to think about what I talk with a stranger in my home town. What I can talk and what not is something very naturally inbuilt within me when I am there. I need not think and implement the protocols followed there. In this new land of absolutely opposite culture, none of us are naturally comfortable. We all adopt it whether we like it or not… We at times act, as if we like it… We start cribbing about the things we grew up with… And we settle down in an unknown land by choice without any roots!

The generation I belong to is emotionally superficial and self-centric. We are cynical about patriotism. We are lot different from previous generations because we never wanted to follow them. We always thought they are unsuccessful and we never really loved our roots. In the race of being successful most of us left our roots and don’t remember smell of the soil where we played. It was all necessary to get out of the conservative boundaries, see the world and kiss the sky. But, enormous opportunities life offered to us, never told us to cut ourselves from our roots or stopped us from returning to our roots.

Wherever you are standing right now on this planet, you actually belong to a particular place. When you read Khaled Hosseini, his passion and love towards Kabul is compelling… He lives it when he writes about Kabul; even though he moved out of Kabul when he was 11 year old and never returned until he was 38. He said in one of his interviews about awkwardness of feeling like a tourist in his own country and the ‘survivor’s guilt’ he experiences. One advantage of being away from the place you love is that it grows stronger within you! You start loving the land you belong to like never before. You understand it better and realize the importance of it in your life. It made me realize how beautiful my place is and how good and loveable my people are. You might end up in some xyz country in search of better place to live; but, even the imperfections of the land you actually belong to are closer to your heart.

When I visit home for 15 days holiday once in a year. I feel disconnected with the people I loved. I feel disconnected with places I loved. I don’t like to be treated as an alien in my own place. The connect we loose with the people we love is worrying.

For most of us only motivation for being abroad is the money earned because of the currency exchange rate and earning rate. There is no limit to the ‘need’ of money. We don’t know when to say ‘enough’. How much ever we deceive ourselves, we are all greedy irrespective of where we are.

How much ever cosmopolitan city be, few instances you experience here makes you realize you don’t belong to this place. I don’t want to be second class citizen in any place I settle down. When I have a feeling ‘I learnt enough from the experience’, it is time to pack up.

NRI is not the status everybody enjoys. Many of us want to go back but hanging in some country where we don’t belong to because of some reason. It is a very strange status of not belonging to anywhere! I enjoyed being in this new country. This journey gave me enormous experience and confidence. But, I can settle down only in the land where I belong to!

Cheers!

Kiran